Never say never.

 I said I would never blog...yet, here we are. While most people that know me would say I am an extrovert, the ones who truly know me,  know that is absolutely not the case. Between social anxiety, social awkwardness, and just plain old-fashioned weirdness, my safe place is anywhere that I can go unnoticed. I love people, I really do, I just don't know what to do when I am around them. Most of my life has been spent working with, or in front of people so I have learned to adapt, but hear me when I say this, if you see me in public - my hands are sweaty, my heart is racing, and I am three different kinds of nervous. So, when it was put on my heart to start a blog one year ago, I went running as fast as I could in the other direction. Like I said, I love people, but I am not sure how I feel about letting them in. 

For a year now I have pushed down the nudges from the Lord to open my heart and my home to others. For a while I was so sleep deprived from having a new baby that it was easily forgotten, but that's the thing about living a life with Jesus, He is always there.  Always faithful, but also, always there to nudge. 

So, here we are. 

Before my husband and I ever married, a job opportunity came available that would allow me to leave my full-time job and switch to part-time. It seemed like a wonderful opportunity for that season of our life. I knew I would not only be adjusting to being a wife after years of single life, but also a stepmom. I was not naive to the amount of changes that were coming, and this gave me the extra time and head space I needed to make that transition. And while this was wonderful during that season, my heart knew. It knew that the real reason for this career switch was setting me up for my lifelong dream... staying home with my babies. 

Theee years later, we have not only survived the many changes that came with getting married, but also a pandemic, two moves,  dozens of new sheep, AND a new bundle of joy that absolutely wrecked my life in the best way possible. That career change is allowing me to do exactly what I knew it would, and most of my days are at home watching him grow and kissing every single inch of his sweetness. It really is a dream come true for me. 

A few weeks ago, I told my 12 month old it was time to clean up his room, and to my surprise... he did. I started showing him how to clean up when he was about 10 months old, but I honestly didn't think he would catch on that quickly. I was amazed, and he was so proud when he put everything away. Of course, I videoed the entire thing and doted all over facebook because it was seriously the most precious thing I have ever seen (new mom - cant' help it!). Now he cleans his room by himself every day. A few days after his initial solo clean up, I was watching him in awe and was instantly convicted. If he can learn to clean his room so quickly just by watching me, he can learn anything I teach him. His mind is a sponge, and I want to fill it with so much Jesus that the love of God just spills out of him. We read our Bible at bedtime, pray before meals, go to Church, etc, but I knew I could do more. I have been given the opportunity to stay home with him, and I want to use that to give him a solid foundation. 

So, not only is this blog a new creative outlet for me, it is my accountability. I am going to use it to post the fun ways that we are learning about Jesus each week. I know that if people are reading, even if it is just one person, it will hold me accountable. I do not want to get into a routine of just checking boxes to get it done. Learning is fun. My husband works hard so I can stay home with our baby and I want to use this opportunity to make the Bible and it's stories tangible for him. Please join me, hold me accountable, and enjoy the glimpse into our imperfectly perfect little home. 

These are my people. They don't always get the best of me, but I pray that years from now if they remember nothing else, they will know that I cherished them, loved their father, and worshipped the King of Kings with every breath. My prayer is that we raise our children to be arrows in the darkness, and through our example they grow to know that God’s word is so good and so true, it’s like honey to our lips.